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Why is Self-Love So Important? 

Self-love is such a popular term in many personal development and spiritual circle. You have probably heard the theory many times and in many ways – that we cannot really love another unless we can fully accept and love ourselves. Putting it into practise can be quite another thing, after all where do we start? Is it possible to feel more self-loving by getting a new hair-do, new partner or new wardrobe of clothes? I guess it works for some but for me when I am really doing it to love and nurture myself then the experience is very different from ticking a box in a self-love to-do-list! Self-love is a mind-set that generates a certain set of feel good factors that lead to different ways of perceiving and moving through the world. Self-love has to start somewhere so why not start right here and now! 

How can I Introduce more Self-Love Into My Daily Life?

I am so glad you asked! Here is a seven-step program to do just that:

  1. Start being more aware... Of the feelings in your body – when you are feeling peaceful, centred, focused, happy etc. then you are thinking/doing self-love. When you are feeling stressed, unhappy, heavy, depressed etc. then you are not thinking/doing self-love. When you stop feeling ‘good’ just stop and notice what is going on. Often some form of self-berating or internal pushing to get somewhere is happening.
  2. Stop doing the opposite of self-love…. Pause, breath, drink tea slowly, go for a walk, hug a tree, read an uplifting poem, break the state of thinking and feeling that leads to the opposite of self-love. Speaking or writing out any self-attacking thoughts and feelings can help neutralise them. Interrupt any habitual thinking/doing patterns that block your ability to stay present.
  3. Embrace what you need right now…. Tune into what you need to shift back into self-love. What do you really need? Maybe you need to speak with a friend, maybe spend more time alone in nature. Make sure you are taking care of your physical and emotional needs. Get clear and act on it. Find different innovative ways to get all your needs met.
  4. You are human, you will make mistakes… Stop setting yourself up and give yourself a break. Stop demanding absolute perfection. Personal growth involves getting it wrong from time to time. Start getting honest about your limits (yes, I know we are all limitless beings of light but from a practical perspective this makes no sense). Be responsible for the reality you are creating. Learn from your mistakes and do it differently next time. Apologise where necessary. Forgive yourself.
  5. Just do something different…. Stop wasting your precious time. Use feedback (instead of blame) to adjust what you are doing. Set healthy limits/boundaries around your time. Say no more often. Allow certain people/situations to leave your life and allow new people/situations to enter your life, ones that support your happiness and success. Make doing something different a daily practise.
  6. Meditate now…Start a meditation practise. This can be quite simple. There are many great meditation practises that involve being aware of the breath. Work with creative visualisation to neutralise negative images/stories/videos in t=your mental space. This will help you shift up the vibrational scale where love becomes a greater daily possibility for you.
  7. All of the above plus a daily dose of appreciation.… Be aware, pause, tune in, (tune somethings out), know your needs, state them, make them important, forgive yourself, make some adjustments in your life, meditate, open to light, and enjoy doing all of the above. Then add a few extra ingredients of your choice. I suggest a daily pinch of appreciation – appreciate your efforts, your journey, your life and your contribution however big or small. If you cannot think of one thing to appreciate yourself for then decide on one step that if you took it you would definitely appreciate yourself. This can be an act of random kindness such as smiling at a stranger, or giving someone an anonymous gift. Then do it! When you have got up to speed with appreciating yourself then start to appreciate others. Voila!


Steve Ahneal Nobel is an author (5 published books) coach, and soul matrix healer. He was a director of the not for profit organisation, Alternatives (based in St. James’s Church, Piccadilly, London W1) for 13 years. He is a devoted father/grandfather.


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Calling all Starseeds and Lightworkers. This transmission is intended to help you step through the Starlight door to reconnect with a lifetime in either Golden Atlantis or Lemuria. This journey will help you reclaim a gift or skill you developed at another time and space.

The myths associated with Glastonbury are extraordinary. Glastonbury Tor has been called a magic mountain, a faeries’ glass hill, a spiral castle, a Grail castle, a Druid initiation centre, an Arthurian hill-fort, a crossroads of leylines and a centre for Goddess fertility rituals and celebrations. It is certainly an extraordinarily magical place.

Both Lemuria and Atlantis had golden periods where spiritual knowledge, practise and connection were at their height. In this time of global transition many are awakening to memories of these times. Such knowledge, skills and experience developed there are needed now as we move from a dark age of spiritual ignorance to a golden age of spiritual awareness. Many of the souls who are now drawn to visit Glastonbury have experienced lifetimes in Lemuria and Atlantis.

Glastonbury is a gateway into other worlds for those who know the way. The energies of different sites around the town can be invoked and used to open a doorway to another time and place where you worked magically. The intention of this transmission is to connect you to a time in either Lemuria or Atlantis when they were at the height of their spiritual knowledge and practise.

Perhaps this door leads to a lifetime as a dreamer in Lemuria. Perhaps to a high priest or priestess working with ceremonial white magic in a temple.

Wherever it leads you can be sure you are reconnecting with a time where you had healing, mystical, soul travelling or manifesting abilities. (Please note that many have had lifetimes in other earth dimensions where Lemuria and Atlantis developed along different timelines. There are still Lemurian and Atlantean civilisations existing in other dimensions right now)!

This transmission calls on four power spots around Glastonbury: Wearyall Hill, The Old Abbey, The Tor and Chalice Well Garden. Listen to this transmission inspired by countless visits to Avalon/Glastonbury. This track was recorded by Steve Ahnael Nobel, January 2017. For more information visit TheSoulMatrix


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Listen to Jemma's story of how she healed cancer and transformed her life after connecting with wild dolphins in Hawai'i.

Jemma’s fascination with dolphins began at an early age. When she was 14 her father took her to SeaWorld, Florida to see the dolphins but when she saw these wonderful beings swimming in the pool her immediate reaction was to burst into tears. She felt such a strong connection with these dolphins and knew in the fibre of her being that they were deeply unhappy. Two years later, at the age of 16, Jemma had a near death experience when she was hit by a car while walking down a country lane. She was in a coma with multiple injuries and the doctors gave little hope for any recovery, but then a miracle happened. After six weeks, much to everyone’s amazement, she woke up. She did not know it at the time but this experience was to change her life forever.

As soon as she was sufficiently recovered she decided to go on a round-the-world trip. On this trip, she encountered wild dolphins in their natural habitat in New Zealand for the first time. Swimming with wild dolphins was a deeply healing encounter which began her life-long life affair with these amazing beings. Many years later Jemma was faced with another healing crisis and once again she turned to the dolphins for help. This time she visited the wild dolphins in the Bahamas. This was another deeply healing experience and she returned from her trip feeling completely healed (which was subsequently verified by a medical scan). As you can read, Jemma can certainly testify to the healing power of swimming with wild dolphins.

Jemma is running wild dolphin retreat in Hawaa'i. For more information visit Wild Dolphin Retreats. 

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I will start off with the usual formalities I am not a medical Doctor and by most countries medical laws I should advise you if you have aids or think you have aids to see a medical Doctor. Even if you ignore their advice it is possible you may learn something, even if it is how toxic their drugs are.

Now for my story. Even though the day I got ill was February 28th 2016, it started October 2015, when having a few glasses of wine, two friends of mine they persuaded me to have a play with a made up Ouji Board. My pal Ollie was to ask the questions, Jen myself and Ollie had our hands on the glass, and Ollie asked whether there was a message for any of us, the glass moved forward to my name. I was a bit disbelieving, and decided to barely touch the glass, this time he asked who the message was from, the letters EM, came up, immediately I just knew it was my great Aunt I had been very close to, Elsie Milbank, and the message came through as a series of letters G,A,Y, H,I,V, immediately I understood it, the others took a few moments before their jaws dropped and looked at me in disbelief, they knew I was gay my Aunty didn’t whilst alive, but they both reassured me they didn’t think I had hiv or was going to get it, no other messages came through, and I buried my head in the sand and denied the possibility.

Fast forward February 28th a Sunday, I was teaching a two day introduction to the use of Magnets in healing emotional stress and anxiety. I was to finish at 5pm, at 4.30pm, I felt a shiver down my spine and my energy plummeting, immediately I thought thank goodness it’s happening now as I am finishing. I eventually left by 6pm, and caught the train to a friends house, on the way home. I had to lie down I was feeling very flu like, I am independent and tried to walk home but they insisted they drove me. I didn’t want to eat, and was exhausted, I didn’t eat the rest of that day or the Monday, eventually a yoghurt on the Tuesday. I live in the Canary Islands and had a flight out from London Gatwick Wednesday, again I got a lift, and just about got on the plane. I arrived home, and did the beach thursday and friday thinking I had stomach flu and the sun would do me good. It seemed to, but by Sunday, I had no energy felt very sick, I was dehydrating rapidly every 30 seconds my mouth started to stick, in fact that carried on for months, I was forcing 5 litres of water down me everyday possibly 6. I couldn’t eat. Then the pain started every inch of my body was like a migraine, I was changing my soaking wet clothes, up to 6 or 7 times a day. Constantly in the shower, spending hours trying to be sick but nothing would come up. Three weeks went by, I only slept about an hour each day the pain was terrible, at night I could not lie down I had to pace up and down. One morning I went to take a small towel out of the washing machine, and did not have the strength to lift it onto the washing line, my arms were shaking, eventually, I swung it on exhausted, and fell asleep. I knew I was bad real bad at this moment. A friend from the UK “Derek” messaged me on Skype, I turned Skype on and he video called me, he took one look at me and said I looked terrible. He knew I was not a fan of medical doctors, and there was little he could do over skype to persuade me. Without saying he contacted some close friends of mine and near neighbours on the island “Simon and Jen”, who immediately came round. Simon said “right I am taking you to the hospital” I replied I am not going to a drug pushing infection riddled hospital, so he replied “how about Dr Bernie who likes natural medicine too”. I knew I needed help and Simon knew the compromise may just persuade me, I was grateful. I had I found out later already lost 18 kilos about 40 pounds in weight.

In fact a female private Dr saw me and found I had Salmonella Typhi, and that would cause muscle pain sickness sweats weight loss etc. She gave me some antibiotics and some codemene or co codamol as pain killers. The pain had been so bad I had been crying in pain for hours, all I wanted was relief, my soulder had gone, my calf muscles were excruciatingly painful, and every inch of muscle and every joint was in pain. I took the pain killers and within 20 minutes, I was drugged out of my mind no pain high as a kite giggly and slept, I could take three doses a day, they lasted 6 hours before pain came back, so I took every 8 hours, suffering just two hours of pain at a time. A week had gone by, I had no idea, I woke up in the night, crawled to the bathroom to weak to walk, and saw my right side of face had dropped like a stroke, I could not talk, just a slurr, I didn’t care as long as I had no more pain. M y friends saw me the next day and took me to the Doctors. Dr panicked and said I may have had a stroke or got meningitis, and needed a cat scan at hospital. I was taken there, they did reflex tests, and decided it was facial palsy, they gave me steroids, and stomach drugs to make the steroids less harmful on my stomach and another drug to counteract the 2nd drug, I didn’t take any, I already guessed it was the painkillers that had caused the paralysis. I stopped the pain killers and took some ibruprofen instead, the next day my face was better. I told the dr, she didn’t believe, me so again, I didn’t take the painkillers and my face improved 100%. I showed her, the websites that had been closed down about peoples experiences of facial paralysis, she replied I have no side affects listed for facial paralysis, I replied your medical journal is probably owned by the pharmaceuticals, and she replied aha, I never thought like that. The antibiotics had not improved me, in fact each day I was getting worse, other pain killers did not help. I had spent nearly two thousand euros on doctors prescriptions, etc, I was nearly broke and unable to work.

Jen went shopping for me, I was eating one small tangerine a day, I asked her to cut open the bag as I did not have the strength. She returned next day and noted I hadn’t eaten my tangerine from the day before, I admitted I didn’t have the strength to peel it, in this moment I knew death was not far away. My father caught salmonella in hospital 15 years earlier and he had been from June to September doubled up in pain, so I presumed it was still salmonella typhi and so did two doctors. So I just thought I would be better in three months, and that salmonella typhi is known to be worse than salmonella.

Each day Simon was making me a smoothie so I would drink through a straw barely able to hold the glass, I always felt a bit better after this, the energy I guess and it was liquid food, one tangerine a day was not enough.

Then one day my neighbour Roger told me Susana, wanted to help me, she is a local healer, and somebody I had helped some ten years earlier with her back and some health problems. I could not walk and Roger carried me to his van, and they both helped me into her house. She immediately gave me 8ml of chlorine dioxide gas solution in water, I was to take this for 8 hours a day. She also took some blood from my arm and injected it into my buttock cheek, this is a South American treatment they do every 5 days to boost the immune system to a very high performance state. She then calmed my system with some healing. Susanna has assisted aids patients and advanc ed aids patients, she thought at most I had days to live.

Now I had something alternative to work with, there was nothing else on the island and I was broke too. By day two the all over pain went, I had some more energy. Yet I was seriously detoxing as chlorine dioxide is one of the fastest virus and bacterial killing substances on the planet, I would take my dose, and spend an hour over the toilet then take my next dose, yet my pain was going, day three less pain, by day eight I could not take anymore, I was hyper ventilating, and collapsed, Roger carried me back to my sofa. Even my sofa and bed had been too uncomfortable, I was too thin, my muscles could not support me in bed or sofa anymore. Friends got me a plastic sun lounger with cushions, where I spent the next two weeks. I came off the cds, and for two days felt stronger as I was not detoxing, but my illness came back with a vengeance and my feet swelled, with excruciating pain that was constant and more pain every ten seconds and burning sensations, I restarted the cds, again I was trying to be sick every hour b ut couldn’t as I was barely eating again.

The cds got me a bit stronger, I attended a friends anniversary, I sat in a chair in a terrible state, yet just getting out and seeing people was inspiring. Eventually more friends carried me back, unbeknown to me they all agreed, they had to get me back to the UK where I can get free treatment because of taxes I have paid into the National Health Service.

It was a Sunday morning, I was asleep, when I heard my neighbour Roger pat the bed wake me up and tell me that I was dying, and if I didn’t want to be dead in a few days, I would have to go to hospital. Then he let other friends in and one by one they each told me in different ways how ill I was and that the time had come to do something drastic.I was also persuaded to take a Spanish HIV test. The cds had made a difference but I had come off it again it was too much I had been hyper ventilating very fast again, on it, I believed in a treatment called Biontology, where they use light signals from cells and reverse the stressed signals to neutralise viruses bacterias and other pathogens, and there was someone in the UK. I made an appointment for 8 days later, I took cds for 7 days, enough to get me stronger to fly. I called my brother in tears, I never borrowed off him before, or mentioned I was gay now I am pleading for money and saying I may have HIV. He was incredible and offered me loads of help.

How I got on the plane I will never know, I was in a wheel chair pretending I had just bad feet, but I did, probably best acting ever got me on. I was wheel chaired off, and into a buggy at Gatwick airport, if I hadn’t taken the cds I would have been dead, thank christ. Derek in London collected me, he helped me take 5 steps to the car, it was too much, I threw up.

Derek said it ad been decided by everybody that I should go straight to hospital the next day, I said let me do one biontology session 1st, if no better I would go to hospital, (that was a lie I was not going in, I was too critical and would catch other infections). Yet how could I now persuade friends and family who have always been brought up to believe in the doctor even though 9 times out of 10 they don’t solve the cause of the problem.
That evening Susannah texted me with my HIV result, I was positive. Immediately I thought this is a challenge and I am going to beat this, I told Derek I would put my results on facebook, he warned me to think about it. I told everybody I had HIV, and that I had been extremely ill, and I was going to beat it. In that moment I knew, that if I gave up, I would let everybody down who believed in me, this was perhaps one of my most important steps to getting well.

I slept on the sofa that night, and the next day had an appointment with the Biontologist. Dere again drove me there helped me in and sat in with me, (if your ever going to get seriously ill get a Derek), I arrived Anouk tested acupuncture points on hands and feet, that determine the energy in fact electricity running through different organ and gland systems, when there is good voltage they are healthy, when there is resistance ie low voltage they are unhealthy. A healthy line of acu points called a (meridian ) will make the Biontology machine called the Starlight give a high beep sound, unhealthy would be a very low deep sound that drops. Well my meridian energy lines were so bad many didn’t even make a single sound. When the voltage is low, the Biontologist will choose treatments and test them to see if it increases the energy, she found many many serious infections in me,. A session can reverse a single infection, but with hiv and especially aids any of those infections could get out of control and perhaps kill me. So she chose to partially treat each big infection week by week, to gradually lower them all and increase my immune system. I will explain more about Biontology in part two, so bare with me. Anyway the diagnosis takes about 40 to 50 minutes and the treatment ten minutes. At the end of the treatment of light signals into my body, I felt a bit more energised, spacey and okay. I left still in pain with my feet, dreading the hour and a half journey back because of exhaustion, and painful feet in the car. I arrived back at Derek’s house, and rested, I then awoke and felt incredibly hungry, the first time in 11 weeks, I ate immediately 11 chocolate biscuits, because they were there and then a full meal. It was incredible I was eating a tangerine a day or a smoothie, I had just eaten solids, this was going to give me energy. The following day I was reacting to the treatment as my body was ridding some of the pathogens the treatment had neutralised in me.

After that day, I organised the doctors, they needed forms filling in, then a meeting with the nurse, all I wanted was a diagnosis re my hiv etc,but they couldn’t see me for 12 days. I called the NHS helpline, and they said they would email the surgery and tell them it’s important they see me right away. Phew. My doctor said it sounded like my hiv had progressed very quickly into aids, and that I should immediately have an hiv test and liver and blood analysis, which I could get at the hospital.

In the meantime a few weeks had gone by, and I was able to get two more Biontology treatments, as the hormonal system governs all body systems, Biontology aims to correct faults found in the hormonal system as early as possible. It identified that both the tetanus and polio vaccines were causing havoc there. Polio vaccine affects the brains efforts to determine what is wrong and right in the body, so becomes less good at finding problems and correcting them, the tetanus vaccine, affects the body’s ability to govern calcium distribution in the body, and this affects many systems in the body. The Biontologist used the opposite light wave pattern through my body of the vaccines, this creates a neutrality enabling the body to let go of the toxicity and throw it out of the body. I also had some more balancing of infections as I did in session three. After the vaccine detox, I started to hallucinate in the car perhaps some of the mercury and other nasties coming out. Derek dropped me at his house, and popped off to see his ex and kids. I started to trip badly, get very anxious, kind of had mental, breakdown, thought the floor was getting bigger and bigger, the toxicity leaving my body was affecting my brain chemistry, and my hormones were all resetting. I nearly called an ambulance, I would have been in a psychiatric hospital if I had. Fortunately Derek came back found me. sat and talked to me for four hours til I regained proper consciousness, then made me herbal sleepy teas, til I dropped off for a good sleep. After each treatment of Biontology I took two days to recover then felt stronger and more energy. So now I have had three treatments and was time for the hospital tests.

I was then referred to the HIV centre at St Heliers in Carshalton Surrey. Where they carried out more tests including several sexually transmitted diseases and hepatitis. The nurse there took all my details, counselled me about my illness gave me advice, and I must say were very good and kind and even though I didn’t want their treatments, it was worth the diagnosis and advice. The nurse said it was obvious my hiv had advanced, with being so ill and having so many aids symptoms, but see what the tests bring, she was interested in my alternative approach and how I had gotten better already, in 3 Biontology sessions. The next nurse said exactly the same. I was called by the delighted nurse to say my immune count was above 200 which officially means I am not aids, but she said if you had the tests done earlier it would have shown I was advanced aids, she congratulated me and told me to keep doing what I have been doing, and she made an appointment for me to see the hiv aids consultant.

The consultant talked about my hiv viral load and my immune count that was 450, which was good, and that she was worried because I had syphillis too which can be rampant with hiv and attack heart brain nervous system etc. She talked about the retroviral drugs for hiv, I refused point blank as nicely as I could, because I have read about how harmful they are, and the consultant said if I take them I would have to be checked every fortnight for two years for liver kidney and fats, problems that are caused by the retro virals. The consultant recommended I should have a hepatitis vaccine, and also unlicenced powerful antibiotic injections for the syphillis, again I refused. She advised me that the syphillis is very dangerous, and agreed that she would retest me in one month, if the syphillis had improved I should carry on with my alternative treatment, if it had not I should take the antibiotic injection. The consultant did listen to me but of course shared very different opinions to me, it was a very interesting meeting, but she was real cool and kind, yet firm.

Back to the Biontology sessions, I had added to my treatments small blasts at neutralising the syphillis, but only managed to get this done twice before my next blood test, as the Biontologist went on holiday. The next blood test showed a significant improvement a 25% reduction without fully targeting it, yet the Consultant said this was highly unusual and it must be a mistake, if it was a mistake it could be rampant in me causing me untold harm that would be irreversible, I asked her to phone the lab and recheck, we couldn’t get through we tried another consultant and a registrar, no avail. She said if I take another test the results would be ten days, by then it could have done terrible damage, and highly recommended the antibiotic injection. I mentioned that my immune system was already compromised and that antibiotics would further attack my good bacteria which makes up 80% of my immune system, she told me an injection would largely bypass the gut and of course agreed I could take probiotics. I buckled and gave in and took the antibiotic injections. I knew after 4 weeks I could have the biontologist detox them out of me. I was already on Restore an amazing gut rebuilding compound, and an enormous amount of supplements, including Liv on Labs lyposomal vitamin C, which you take orally, but to the equivalent of 90,000mg a day, so I thought I could cope, and prevent irreversible damage.

The following day I felt dreadful, I went for five weeks trying to throw up again in the bathroom without managing so, I became very exhausted, and started to lose weight again, what were in these awful vaccines. The biontologist said that the 25% reduction in syphillis is what she expected, she reassured me that after they had done their job she would detox them out pointless doing it whilst it is attacking the bacterial infection. The biontology sessions continued, and on session 6, we found the hand meridians were mainly staying strong from the week before, this was ground breaking, despite being ill from the vaccines, I was getting stronger.

I was beginning to research hiv and aids, and remembered scientist Dr Hulda Clark said benzene and intestinal flukes was the real cause of getting hiv and aids, and another scientist thought it was just benzene. Now my father had a garage with a petrol forecourt and a workshop with cars running all day, I grew up there, at 12 was serving petrol being soaked in it all day, and guess what, petrol is a major source of benzene. So I persuaded the Biontologist that if we found the energetic wave form of petrol by analysing it in the machine and then reversing the wave form through me it would detox me of petrol and of course benzene, also benzene is in lubricants used by the gay community, this may actually work. So with out ado as they say we tried it. That evening I got sick, real sick I tasted petrol in my mouth, throat stomach, and smelt it in every pore of my skin, I laid down at Dereks, he then took me to where I was now staying, I collapsed for four hours unconscious sound asleep, woke up feeling dreadful, emptied some pots of bicarbonate of soda in a bath, they help detox the skin, I soaked, I could feel the petrol leaving me, after an hour I showered and felt better. Next day I awoke and before I opened my eyes, said,I am better I am passed this illness and I am now in major recovery, I felt so much stronger on so many levels, accept those dreaded antibiotic injections. I knew I could isolate my illness symptoms from the injection symptoms, they were different.
I borrowed a Rife machine from a very good friend Alice. A Rife machine uses resonant electro magnetic vibration, to literally blow up bad bacterias and parasites and viruses, just like an opera singer will shatter a crystal glass when she hits the right frequency, every pathogen has a frequency that will cause them to explode when enough energy is applied. So I used this to kill intestinal flukes, also daily blast, other general infections and keep me in check between biontology treatments.
Now all of this cost money, I was spending about 80 pounds a week on taxis just with clinics doctors hospitals etc, the supplements I spent thousands on, then the treatments as well. Well I borrowed off my brother and a friend Erica, Alice and the Chinese Buddhist community I have worked with before raised some funds, all un expected, but everything came as I needed it to the penny. I also had a message from Neil and Adam, an American Rock band, who when they were starting out, I had tweeted their song a lot, and they were grateful, they started a go fund me in America and sent me dollars to help me with my supplements, then Tracey White in UK thought she could do the same and friends and students of my Reflective Repattern ing trainings etc, chipped in, and I never even asked, it was incredible. The well wishes I got everyday was incredible, 30 or 40 messages a day at one point saying my updates on Facebook had inspired them to make changes, about 12 people went and had Biontology too and felt amazing for it, people were interested in my black seed oil, and other treatments. Kirsten a friend had been training in Bio Plasma Generator, which aims to increase cell voltage, where there is higher cell voltage the cells improve in health, I got several treatments, I was getting well, it was like it was meant to be. Yet believe you me, there were very down times,I nearly gave up a few times, after the antibiotic injections, I found I was trying to vomit for four hours at a time, one day I got up off the floor, saw myself as nearly a skeleton in the mirror like a dead man, I had already made extra holes in my belt when I arrived in UK so my trousers would not fall down, I had made an extra two holes again I had lost so much weight. I was on my own and cried for almost 6 hours. Then my internal voice reminded me of the Reflective Repatterning Laws of Opposites, from all bad comes good, in fact I have written a blog on that. That made me smile thinking well it’s gonna have to be one hell of a good time, I also remembered everybody on facebook Twitter etc, helping me in my journey telling me how my story had helped them and their friends, how could I possibly give up now, how could I let them all down, then the excitement of the challange hit me again, and I would put my hands and feet on the metal contacts of the Rife machine again, six hours daily I was doing. It was absolutely relentless resolve, I would be passing out yawning sighing sweating, stomach churning but carry on, killing those germs, even though the germs as they die release toxins into the blood and make you feel ill, I decided I would not enjoy one moment of any increased energy,I would put that energy into more treatments, I did a six week blast like this and another week super intensive. I pretended I was not doing other treatments to the Biontologist, but I was. Whilst the antibiotics were in me I did not treat the syphillis alternatively, I had another blood test and the syphillis was worse,the antibiotics not only poisoned me they did not do anything re the syphillis. I decided no more injections. I was furious, so angry not one thing any dr or hospital or consultant helped me get well, accept a diagnosis, so I could target myself with natural alternative treatments. My feet were now terrible I was diagnosed with reactive arthritis, arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, and mortons neuroma,(just labels what were the causes) kind of tumors between the toes that are on the nerves like hard balls, very painful, I reversed my arthritis in toes and my left hand with Rife machine and Biontology, the dr explained it was normal wear and tear and some people get the Mortons neuroma, I asked the cause, he said “there was not one”, I asked what the cure is, he said,” try steroid injections”,, I replied,” they make it worse in the long term”, he agreed, he said I could try surgery, but that would cut the nerves leaving me less movement and I researched that 55% of the people that had the surgery got more pain, alcohol injections can burn the nerves but have similar bad results. I angrilly said, “so you don’t know the cause of my feet problem, and recommend something that is known to make it worse, and you know of no natural treatment, why would I take advice from you”. Perhaps I shouldn’t of but honestly when does a medical doctor find a cause, they seem to like only prescribing drugs for symptoms.

I had another Biontology treatment where I detoxed lead and mercury from my body again to further boost my immune system which had been supressed by these poisons, I also detoxed a life time of antibiotics, as a kid I was continuously on antibiotics and steroids, I was never expected to live and hung upside down for an hour every day over back of the sofa to drain my lungs, I was full of many respiratory diseases as a child and very badly formed chest and lungs. Now Naturally I recovered from this ie lots of natural treatments, but this was yet another reason my immune system was already in a weakened state. When the lead and mercury was detoxed from me, I took a train home,Biontology and alternative treatmenst had helped that I could now taxi to and from the station, and walk a little, I was already working naturally on my feet myself, and was just about able to use taxis and trains. I don’t remember some of the journey, I remember heading the wrong way and being lost in London, then getting a taxi back. My friend was fixing the bathroom and had tools in my room, I walked passed him fell on bed, despite the banging and plumbing work awoke nearly 5 hours later, for two days I felt like a bus had ridden over me,I also had like a petroleum film on top of my urine in the toilet for several days as my body was detoxing nasty heavy toxic metals like lead and mecury, then I felt great my immune system responded.

I decided that I had taken all the treatment I could take, and should rest for two weeks. I took a flight back to the Canary Islands, I had lost my home, but friends wanted me back, I needed sunshine fresh air, it was overwhelming these are friends I thought I would never see again, Derek drove me to the airport, I was thinking I am mad, am I well enough what if I get sick again. I sat in the restraunt at the airport, a waitress asked me what I wanted I just cried, she asked me what was wrong all I could tell her was that I was so hungry, bless her she got me a free snack whilst I was waiting, of course I wasn’t hungry just emotional. Mel and Jen met me at the airport, friends had decorated where I was staying with welcome home pictures and more. After a few days they noted how well I looked, I had some beers and partied, each day I did a little walk with a walking stick.

Two and a half weeks went by, and it was time now to do phase two of treatments. I went back to the cds, and agreed to do a minimum of ten hourly doses for 21 days, and also to have some blood taken from arm and injected into buttock every 5 days to boost my immune system . This time I was taking a minimum of 3ml which I upped to 5ml, every hour and even got up to 15 times a day, adding in dmso ( dimethyl sulfoxide) to absorb the cds (chlorine dioxide solution) into my cells every other dose, I stopped using my walking stick, went to shop twice a day, then carried 8 litre water bottles back , then went into town, when a mad mad thought came into my head, that I should do my old daily 8 mile walk before I leave.

Two days later without saying I did it, I struggled my neuromas although now shrinking were painful, my ankles incredibly weak, my pelvis out of sync, I got half way rubbed my feet ate two peaches and started to walk back, the overwhelm was incredible, I couldn’t stop crying despite being very physical for me, the mental challange was far greater, on the way back a snail might have overtaken me, but I did the 8 miles, and walked up the mountain back to where I was staying. The joy on Simon and Jens faces was incredible, I knew now that everything was possible, a few days later I announced I was now no longer ill, just recovering. I am waiting for another syphillis result, I reckon it’s gone, my feet are improving. I am now back in UK for tests etc. I will be heading back home to the Canaries again next week. I am on n o medications, and have started collidial silver which is a less harsh antimicrobial than the cds, to keep me in check and back on the supplements whilst I can afford them, in a few weeks I will be out of them,but maybe some work will come in. As I aim to get back to work gradually. Later I started a stage 3 treatment to further insure I never got aids again I will explain this in parts 2 and 3 to follow.

I will explain the treatments in part two of my aids journey, and part three is to give my opinion on the treatments and which treatments may work best for different people's situations, like accessibility, cheapness,ie very affordable treatments and if you have money, also supplements and anti microbial treatments when to not mix them. I will also explain why I believe hiv does not exist and why I believe the cause of aids is the aids medications and benzene vaccinations antibiotics recreational drugs and other immune suppressants,and even malnutrition, how I believe std’s can over load the system too.

chris-milbank-cure-aidsIn the mean time, a massive thank you to Susanna the healer, Simon Ward Jen Ward and Derek Holt, the best friends ever on the planet. All the Ward family, my amazing brother Andy and my Father who gave me amazing support, and were worried sick re my alternative approaches, yet still supported me, very brave. I thank Neil and Adam please check their amazing record Everything Is Alright, it gave me hope they raised funds for me too, Tracey White for raising funds supporting me and listening to me, Kevin Laye for whipping up support as a leader in alternative mind and health methods, I thank all my students and friends, I thank Erica Moss who is a mentor and a very good friend to me, I thank everybody who has supported me, wished me well financed me, driven me, housed me. If I have missed anybody out, scream at me, I will apologise and add you in, thankyou Mick and Chloe Coomber for accomodating me and Kerimwho housed me as well and Roger, too. I will be presenting and teaching get well methods with Solar Events UK soon. Thank you to the director Jemma Prittie who supported me and cancelled my trainings for me during my illness, and is still working with me. I also thank my Relentless Resolve . Time for a cuppa. xx



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I learnt Thought Field Therapy Tapping (TFT) after almost dying of a severe allergy anaphylactic attack to peanuts. A lady in Dublin saved my life when I couldn't breathe, my  head and body was completely swollen and my blood pressure was dropping fast. She took my hand and told me to think of peanuts and she started tapping between my little finger and wrist. The anaphylactic attack stopped in its tracks. I went back to Ireland and trained with this lady in Dublin. (Thank you Rhoda Draper).

I then bought everything there was on the treatment, manuals, cd's downloads and audio books. I went to California and studied the next level of training -Diagnostic TFT. We learnt how to test peoples muscles and diagnose treatment points on the hands, body and face to treat emotional and many different health conditions including pain. We further learnt how to test people for items they may have been sensitive to individually, that may have been triggering health and/or emotional symptoms or even preventing treatments from working.

Dr Roger Callahan the founder of this most amazing therapy, had an advanced method of treating people for most conditions over the telephone or skype to anywhere and anyone in the world. He called it VT (Voice Technology). When he talked about VT he would look down at his carry case, and then if he was going to treat someone, he would always go to another room and they would have to call him, as VT was a secret. He would pick up his case and off he went. Early books like "Why Do We Eat When We Are Not Hungry" by Dr Callahan would talk of VT as expensive equipment and so would early interviews. Later it wasn't mentioned but by now the rumour had spread like wild fire.  Big names like co Founder of NLP Richard Bandler and TV Hypnotist and all round therapy guru Paul Mckenna wanted to know the secret. 
I paid a $100,000.00 for the VT secret. I became very busy , the busiest VT practitioner on the planet - I was working 7 days a week and fifteen hours a day with the VT.

When I arrived for the VT training Mrs Joanne Callahan was a bit nervous. I had to sign a document to say that I would not tell anyone the secret, then another to say I knew that there was no specialised equipment involved in VT.

The next thing Dr Roger Callahan showed me was himself touching his toes. He asked me to do the same and notice myself reaching to the floor. Then I had to repeat it, thinking of something I didn't like, then again thinking of something I liked. When I was thinking of the things I liked I would stretch further. When thinking of something I didn't like my stretch was less.

The next thing he had me do was to put my arm out at shoulder height to the side and swing it round in front of me, once for something I liked and again for something I didn't like. Again what I liked and was good for me gave me a longer stretch.

I spent three days with Dr Callahan as he took me through how to use this self muscle swing test. I could listen to people's voices on the phone or radio etc, and diagnose treatment points on their body for mental emotional and health problems. The thing is it worked and still does very well. I also learnt how to diagnose psychological reversal, a reversal of energy that can block a treatment from working and/or block someone from learning.

Whilst doing the training a lady from the UK called. She was a therapist with a client with a severe driving phobia. Dr Callahan did the talking and I did the diagnosing. I was able to quickly diagnose the lady’s energy points to bring her anxiety down to nothing, but it quickly returned. At this point I knew the lady had an energy toxin, something that she energetically had an intolerance to, and was undoing the treatment. Dr Callahan had suggested to get the lady safely home and we would further diagnose the toxin from there. When I asked if there was an air freshener in the car, in fact there were three, they were immediately thrown out, and then I was able to give a treatment to boost her against the toxicity of the air fresheners and remove her driving phobia for good.

The following week the lady drove on her own (approximately a 600 mile round trip!) The therapist in the UK still uses me today because of that one treatment that happened 13 years ago!

I didn't care that VT wasn't a machine, its cool that our bodies can diagnose other people through the voice over the phone. I was and am still very happy with VT.

url-1Eventually I became a director then a Vice President and then President of the Association Of Thought Field Therapy ATFT. I led a research team in Tanzania researching using TFT with malaria with a 92% symptom treatment success rate. I taught advanced trainings all over the world on behalf of the Callahans. However I was a bit disturbed I couldn't share the VT secret in Africa as I knew it would help in remote villages. Also internal politics were getting in the way, and the VT training had been put up to $120,000.00 and people were remortgaging essentially to buy a self muscle test that many therapies use.

I broke away from the Association and became independent. There was some bitterness aimed at me for doing so, not really a big deal now, but it hurt at the time. I decided I would give this secret away, and if people wanted to train in it I would teach it not for a $120,000.00 but make it more affordable for all. Stupidly from a business perspective, the Callahans and ATFT sent letters to all their students and members (over 10,000 people and told them not to attend my VT trainings). Luckily for me this publicised it, and I was busy with courses and people flying over to see me.

I still love the Callahans and their amazing therapies, although I have disagreed on their business approach. I love their amazing treatments, and I owe my life to Dr Roger Callahan. Mrs Joanne Callahan has worked tirelessly for good causes using TFT. Time will tell if I did good or bad breaking their secret. Mrs Joanne Callahan runs the trainings these days and she is an inspiring lady.

Warmest wishes

Chris Milbank

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According to the Centres for Disease Control & Prevention 16.8% of Americans 18 and older identify as cigarette smokers. 16.8% translates to approximately 40 million Americans. Despite the 20% drop that has taken place since 2005, Americans are still voluntarily smoking products that will inevitably lead to health issues as fatal as cancer. If framed through the lens of people voluntarily choosing to shorten their lives, this can be viewed as an epidemic. Knowing and understanding the harmful effects of smoking rarely are persuasive enough deterrents to prevent or cause people to quit smoking.


With recent studies suggesting that switching from traditional cigarettes to e-cigarettes is not an effective way to mitigate the effects of smoking it seems as though the popular fad may lose its steam. While the jury is still out, e-cigarettes are slowly being considered just as bad as standard cigarettes and do not help wean people off of smoking.

With people slowly loosing hope in mainstream methods intended to quell one’s addiction to smoking, the public is looking towards alternative means of quitting.


Meditation has recently been hailed as a panacea of sorts. While some have criticised the media for blowing its efficacy out of proportion, others have sought to credit mediation for their victories over addiction and other afflictions. Meditation can manifest itself in many forms, the most beneficial method of mediation when it comes to fighting addiction is called mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness meditation is geared towards making you a more cognisant person of both the causes and effects of your actions.



This alternative way to quit smoking is a form of psychotherapy. Part meditation, visualisation, relaxing music and guidance, you’re led through the psyche of your mind in order to identify and alter the triggers that lead you to pick up a cigarette. In a study carried out at the San Francisco VA Medical Centre, researchers concluded that hypnotherapy was just as successful as more conventional methods of quitting. Of the 286 participants involved in the study, the half that were involved in hypnosis found that the hypnosis was most effective on those who had a history of depression of struggled with other psychiatric conditions.

When considering which route one should take when attempting to quit, consider the costs, time and reported efficacy of these solutions. Whatever you choose, make sure you to always have your health in mind.

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From all bad comes good. For many this may be a difficult concept to take on, yet it works both ways to. From all good comes bad. Join therapist Chris Milbank to explore further....

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‘Your life is not a series of separate boxes but a mandala of interwoven experience, roles and events that filter and refract into each other. They are all inter-related. Your intimate connection is what feeds you and your life.’

In her now famous TED talk, Brene Brown said that the word courage came from the latin word for Cour and that the original meaning of the word courage was to ‘tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.’
I loved that when I first heard it. I love that still.

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Resistance shows up in so many areas, in myriad ways, and is adept at ducking out of view, of keeping out of our conscious minds. We can persuade ourselves that we are open, that we are accepting, yet resistance will continue to insidiously dig its heels in and cloud our judgement. When acceptance comes, it is a falling away of such weight and burden we often don't know we are carrying - the clarity of relief. And we move into flow and ease.

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